When last we left the Danger Patrol, they were trapped on a narrow promontory, on the verge of being forced into a vast pit by the silver spears of the Saturnine Guard. Mylock, the Mutant, had stumbled over the edge, and was plummeting toward certain doom!
Gorebot 5000 makes immediate use of his “extendable limbs,” one of the options he chose under his Automatic Systems starting move, to telescope all three of his remaining three arms into the void of the pit to grab Mylock. The description of extendable limbs says only, “add reach and near to your melee attacks,” but it makes sense that he can also just grab things at range, so I ask him to defy danger with Dexterity. His total is 11: Mylock is snatched from certain doom and returned speedily to the promontory, accompanied by the hiss of retracting hydraulics.
I tell Doctor Morrow that, from his position at the very edge of the promontory, he can look straight down into the rumbling abyss, and that he would feel dizzy with vertigo were it not for his cold, calculating intellect. He perceives a churning in the darkness, and a sudden flash from the electrical storm illuminates the depths, revealing a great ring of sharp teeth as wide as the chasm itself, rotating like a gear; and within that, a second ring of teeth rotating in the opposite direction; and within that a third, etc. — concentric rings of death rising slowly toward our heroes: the God of the Pit!
Doctor Morrow chooses this moment to spout lore, saying “It’s funny, but here at the brink of doom I recall something useful about the rare gems that brought me to Saturn in the first place — you know, the ones I have hidden in the secret pocket of my coveralls…” and I allow it because, cool! He rolls 2D6 + 2 (his INT modifier) for 8, within the 7-9 result that reads, “the GM will only tell you something interesting—it’s on you to make it useful.”
“Yeah, those gems, they are indeed very rare, and you know that they’re ingestible, too. You don’t know what they do, but they’re sort of like oversized, multicolored sugar crystals. Called, um, ‘sucron.'”
“Quick, everyone! Swallow these rocks!” shouts Doctor Morrow, pulling the gems out of his secret pocket and, because his wrists are still bound, scattering them accidentally at his feet. Gorebot 5000, being the doctor’s creation (one of his bonds reads “I was programmed to help Doctor Morrow”), follows the order immediately, sweeping up three of the crystals with one extendable grabber, and dropping them into the grinding chute installed where a mouth would be. After a moment’s hesitation, Curry Cashews and Mylock scoop up one gem each and choke them down.
There’s no time to wait for the sucron to take effect (whatever that effect may be). The Captain of the Saturnine Guard barks orders to his spearmen, and they advance in a double rank, forcing the Danger Patrol to the very verge of the Pit. Now it’s either push back or be forced over the edge!
Mylock acts first, using his kangaroo legs to leap over the heads of the spearmen, but he fails his defy danger roll, gets caught up in the bristling spears, and suffers 1D6 damage as he falls right into the midst of the enemy ranks.
Curry Cashews says, “How many guards are in the front rank? Six? I use my shield to protect me as step between two the spears in the middle, putting myslef in the midst of the first rank with three guards on either side, then use my shield to shove the guards on the right off the edge and into the Pit!”
Defy danger using DEX to maneuver between those spears: his roll total is 8. His choice: take damage from a spear tip and complete that step of the move, or recoil from the pointy sticks and abort the move. The heroic Earthling completes the move, and his arm is pierced by a spear for 5 points of damage. Letting out a bellow of fury and pain, he throws his full weight behind the shield at the three guards now lined up between him and the precipice, and rolls an 11 (defy danger using STR).
The Saturnine Guardsman that receives the blow staggers back into his comrades, neither of whom were prepared for this sudden and unexpected blow from the side. They lose their footing and topple, screaming, into the void. Doctor Morrow watches them disappear into the darkness at the center of the whirling rings of teeth. He notes with scientific interest that the teeth do not pause in their churning.
“I pick up my fallen arm,” says Gorebot 5000, seizing the moment, “and manually activate the retractable blade that comes out of the hand.” Wait, what?
“Yeah, so remember I have this starting move called Automatic Systems? I get to pick three systems at the beginning, off of a long list. I chose ‘extendable limbs,’ which I used already to save Mylock’s ass, and I chose ‘force field,’ which gives me 2 points of armor when it’s turned on, and the last one is ‘weaponized,’ which says, ‘with metal fists and implanted blades, you do +2 damage in melee.'”
“Okay, you pick up your arm and press a button at the wrist, which causes a crescent-shaped blade the size of a dinner plate to pop out between your ring and index fingers…”
“… and I hurl the arm with all my mechanized might past the spearmen at their leader, the Captain guy. I’m trying to hit him in the head with the blade.”
“Okay, that’s a volley. Roll and add your DEX modifier.”
“Volley? Okay, wait, I picked Seek and Destroy Unit as my starting specialization, which says, ‘when you use your built-in weapons, you can roll with STR to volley instead of DEX.'”
“Okay, cool! Roll and add your STR, then.”
Double 6s. +2 for STR is 14. Much laughter and clapping of hands.
“The detached arm flies liked a missile over the heads of the Saturnine Guard, pulling with it the adamant chain still attached to it, which in turn yanks Doctor Morrow after it, since you forgot he was still attached to the chain. So the surprised Doctor is hurled along with your arm over the guards.”
More laughter and clapping of hands (despite the lack of believable physics).
“So the crescent blade, with Doctor Morrow in tow, strikes the Captain of the Guard. Deal your damage.”
“My base damage is a d10. But being weaponized gives me +2 damage, right?”
“To melee. Since this was a volley attack, I’m going to say a melee damage bonus does not apply.”
He rolls a 10. Much more laughter and clapping of hands. I tell him that’s more than enough to kill the Captain, and ask him to describe the end result of his move.
“Okay, he’s in the middle of shouting an order, and the blade hits him right in the open mouth, and, like, shears off the top half of his head, which spins end over end through the air with his helmet still attached while his body stays standing. But then Doctor Morrow catches up to my arm and hits the guy’s body square in the chest, knocking it over backwards and cushioning the Doctor’s fall. And there’s lots of blood, because they don’t call me Gorebot 5000 for nothing.”
So Doctor Morrow finds himself on the far side of the Saturnine Guard, who are visibly shaken by the sudden and unceremonious execution of their commander at the
hands hand of a killing machine. Mylock is still crouched in the midst of the 10 remaining guardsmen, with whom Curry Cashews is now thoroughly engaged, while Gorebot still stands, three-armed, at the end of the promontory.
“Where’s the Duke guy? Where’s the Princess?” asks Curry Cashews. I don’t know. Um…
“There’s a wide, sweeping balcony along the second story of the Palace, overlooking the promontory. You can see Princess Anu up there, her eyes still glowing blue, and Duke Damadu still lurking behind her, sternly observing the fracas. He maybe looks a a little worried.”
“PRINCESS!” shouts Doctor Morrow (and he actually shouts, we all kind of flinch in surprise), “You must not allow Curry Cashews to die! CURRY CASHEWS IS YOUR BROTHER!”
How exactly a Saturnian princess and an Earthling transported only recently to the far reaches of the solar system are related by blood is not immediately clear, but whether it’s a bluff or some as-yet-unrealized truth, it’s shocking enough to have some potential effect. I ask the Doctor to make a parley roll, which uses his Charisma modifier of -1 (the Doctor is… not a people person). He rolls an 11, -1 is 10.
1) You have to move to get the shot placing you in danger as described by the GM.
2) You have to take what you can get: -1d6 damage.
3) You have to take several shots, reducing your ammo by one.
Tune in next time for another episode of Danger Patrol on a Dungeon Planet!